Reclaim Your Voice!
What gets in your way to speak up / sing out / share your message?
Let's play in this space together. Reclaim your innate and authentic desire to express you, being you.
Reclaim your Voice!
What an incredible instrument we have been given, our voice, literally intrinsic to our physical survival, an open book into our emotional state, and a doorway into our spiritual existence, our Voice is fundament to our overall well-being.
Our voice is unique as our own finger-print, the mechanisms of vibration that pass through the vocal chords have contorted and expanded into our life story. Inherent in our tone, timbre and pitch are our core beliefs, about how we see our self in the world, and how we perceive the world sees us.
So while there is voice coaching that can retrain the mechanism of the voice box to sound more pleasing and alluring, there is also the opportunity to do a kind of 'system reset' and engage with the 'inner child' experience of individuation and the unabashed expression of our uniqueness.
Our inner child holds the original uninhibited blue-print of our voice and self expression, as well as the creative adaptations we have made along the way in order to fit in to our tribe, be-it family or society.
In terms of utilising Hakomi mindbody psychotherapy, there are many ways of approaching a reclamation of our voice but what we can explore together are the psycosomatic elements that underly why we may close down with our voice in terms of speaking up, singing or more broadly still, our authentic self expression.
Very gently and respectfully, we can go to the root causes of our performance and/or personal anxieties, be it issues related to self-worth, authentic expression, or finding safety in 'being seen'; together we can lean into those sensitive places and see what opens up before us.
The Inner Child
& Joy
# Reclaiming our Golden Shadow
Children laugh. It's so right there; jumping on the trampoline, hearing your mum fart, whatever. Our child's natural response is to laugh and to feel the joy of that run through our entire body.
But what if that child was told off more often than not for laughing, for being too giddy with excitement, for shrieking too loudly, for boldly exclaiming her wonderfulness?
Likely this child adapts. Shrinks, diminishes and dulls her expression. There's less outbursts, and Joy, that conveyer of affinity and communion, is exiled to moments of intoxication.
When we put a lid on our exuberance, our spontaneity and our natural disposition to play, our voice adapts also. This may present as a breathy or tight or croaky voice, lacking its naturalness.
When we exile a part of us, we live in the shadow of that absence. Even positive parts, like Joy, get exiled.
Termed our "Golden Shadow" - this is about integrating the positive aspects of our Self that were 'too much' for our adults growing up.
Bringing play and joy back into our life is an antidote to all the messages we give ourself around being 'too much' for someone else (while simultaneously being 'not enough' for our self).
In our hakomi sessions, we can experientially explore these child states and our relationship to playfulness and 'unreasonable' joy - simply by being curious and overhearing the messages we tell our self.
It's the start of opening up the permission field to feel (more) again, and when that happens, our voice will follow that openness.
The Inner Child &
Self Expression
# Reclaiming our inner desire
There are key milestones within the first 7 years of our life that lay down the blueprint for our sense of self. Self expression is part of our developmental process at around 2 years of age onwards.
This period touches on our freedom to be our self. On a continuum of experiences, do we receive positive regard for our spontaneity and creativity, or do we become shamed for our impulses, stuck in a loop of needing to be 'good' or 'right' in the eyes of another.
In those early years, our impulses are our self expression. They are ridiculously impulsive and often have unanticipated consequences (what do you mean you cut holes in all your shorts for your tail??). To be fair, it seems there's no way to avoid some psychological scarring, at the very least being morally shamed. And depending on the longevity of the shaming, it can colour our ability to feel safe/supported/accepted/worthy with another also.
Our ability to express our self confidently is all tied up in the believability of our limiting core beliefs. For instance; it is not safe for me to be seen can feel water-tight, and so, when the spotlight appears, we go blank, tongue-tired, hot and stutter over our words. The body is sending a message of panic, and the core belief is reinforced.
And when that happens often enough, understandably the desire to express our self will become muted, exiled out of our permission field. The somatic cascade of closing off the neural pathways to expression, and 'putting a lid on it' will tighten and contract viscerally at the throat chakra.
Naturally, this affects our singing voice.
In a study asking 5 year olds if they can sing, 90% said yes. The same researchers asked 12 year olds if they can sing, only 40% said yes.
That's the difference between our inner experience of singing (yes!) and our outer experience of what singing is meant to sound like (no!).
The inner desire to express ourselves through song may be compelling, but the shame we feel for not being particularly “good” can override our ability to express ourselves. Which is disheartening given song is one of the most powerful and decidedly simple means to transmute old ways of being, and connect with spirit.
So how do we reclaim our voice with all that going on?
Did you make random sounds as a child? It was fun and playful right? What would it be like to do that now? What get's in our way? Can we turn towards those shaming voices for a moment and see who they belong to? Hakomi sessions can open up this enquiry to meet our self more fully.
Hakomi sessions can also support you to join that community choir, sign up for that open-mic night, show up for the presentation, make that self-promotion video. Whatever it is that you desire to grow into, a little support to cross that bridge is right here.
The Inner Child & Authenticity
# Reclaiming what's true for us
Our voice has an unnerving way of betraying the adaptive contortions we have made in our life. Our voice tells the raw truth, despite, or maybe because of our most belligerent attempts to appear otherwise. Words and voice can loose coherence in these instances, and when this happens, our voice may sound thin and flat, lacking authenticity.
It's an inner journey to find out what's true for us. It involves turning our attention a full 180 degrees, inwards, permission field granted to put your self at the center of your attention.
Hakomi is a great way to get clear and align to your inner knowing.
I know that when I enquire into what feels 'off' (or incoherent) in my self, I will discover a part of me that wasn't being listened to, and is trying to get my attention.
Through this practice of Hakomi, we can catch the 'whispers' as opposed to the brick wall / sledge hammer message from Life, that is trying really hard to get our attention.
This is a practice of listening to, and honouring all parts of our Self.
As we create harmony within, so we experience harmony externally in our life.
Growing up &
Stepping Out
# Reclaiming devotion
Devotion?! Weren't expecting that one huh? The road towards stepping out and being seen is made easier when we lessen our fixation on our identity (how we are perceived) but rather, move towards a greater sense of "I am". In its abstraction, this sounds a lot like a theory exam, but really, all it is, is a shift in focus; towards something larger than our selves, towards service and devotion.
It's not about you!
Yeah, here's the paradox. It's about you becoming you, but it's not about you in the end. Through your devotion to your craft (be it private poetry or performance singing) you and the craft are refined, becoming more attentive to the creative impulse that rises, and to manifesting what you are dreaming in to. It becomes an offering from the universe through your fractal of consciousness for others to enjoy (or not).
It is devotion that antidotes our fixation on our ego, be-it shy and retreating, scared of what everyone will think, or an over-bearing, doesn't give a shit about what anybody thinks part.
This shift in focus gives us the space to iron out the crinkles in our ego, which were holding us back, protecting us from perceived humiliation. But actually, it's the devotion to the craft, and the subsequence offering, that can become more primary, and allow us to be willing to meet each obstacle in turn.
We get polished in the process of our creative endeavour and the gesture of putting our selves out there into the world. Stay true to this path and it is transforming us at the level of identity, illuminating and dissolving the level of conditioning that has kept us small, hidden, obscure, or alone.
It takes tenacity and dedication to stay true to our devotion, and sometimes we need an extra eye to watch and observe our process and see where we are getting stuck, and to name it. You will find that compassionate honesty is a welcome relief in the Hakomi container.
It's potent work that changes how you perceive your self and reality.
